Father’s Day Wishes Pt. III – 2020

Where to begin? My glass is always half full, I seek out the positives wherever I can, but the empty half is always there, ready to take over if I let it… 

I won’t see BigBear this Father’s Day. He’s spending some time in a Young Person’s Mental Health hospital getting help with the cruelty of his own mind. A piece of my heart is broken by the trauma’s he faces just to exist. Coming to terms with the fact that I cannot help or ‘fix’ him is probably the toughest experience of my life so far. Cuts can be stitched, overdoses flushed, but a badly wired brain is beyond my capabilities. My own pain at these acknowledgements pales into insignificance compared to the pain that he endures every day and it’s taken me a long time to even begin to understand that. 

The love that his whole family have for BigBear, ‘rents, Grand ‘rents, brothers, sister, uncles, cousins, Juice. My wish for 2020 is that the medical people looking after him right now for us can help him to feel that love pouring into him, and out for him. 

Elsewhere there’s positives of course. Princess and her man completed the purchase of their new home and littlest Grandson has taken a particular shine to me & Juice. Junior gets the keys to his own gaff any day now with his lovely partner. And Third child (adult) was in good form when we last chatted.

LittleBear thrived back at Sunday morning football and has a good circle of friends with whom he’s having great adventures during the elongated break from school so there’s good things to celebrate. 

But yeah, my wish for Daddy’s Day this year is that the cloud lifts. Not for me, but for my precious boy and the struggles he endures. BigBear, this one’s for you. xx